Maybe they call it "high risk" for a reason?!

What a weird 24 hours.  

First, let me preface this post by saying two things. 

 #1:  I promise not to post and whine about every little twitch, pain or scare.  I'm not that dramatic pregnant chick (we all know at least one!).  

#2:  If you don't want to read about blood or other gross girl stuff, just go ahead and close out of this puppy right now.  

Yesterday I got home from work, got M a snack and was going to change into some comfy clothes.  When I went into the bathroom and pulled my pants down my heart sank.  They were soaked with blood.  As I was wiping myself off, a little blueberry-sized blob of tissue appeared.  My heart sank even more.  I just knew I was losing one or both of the babies.  But just like the first episode of bleeding a few weeks earlier, I had no pain.  

I knew a couple of things.  First and foremost, I couldn't alarm M.  Also, if I was losing the pregnancy, there was nothing that could be done at that early stage....so I tried to stay as calm as possible and just do what needed to be done.  I called our neighbors who were able to watch M for me and I headed out to the hospital.  Brandon left work and was going to meet me there at the ER (I wanted to go to Labor and Delivery where I knew they could do a quick ultrasound but according to the nurse on call, they wouldn't see me until 20 weeks).  

After the initial gush of blood, it had stopped and I hadn't experienced any sort of cramping or pain.  After about 3 hours, blood tests and two ultrasounds, they saw both babies, and determined they were both fine.  The heartbeats were both strong and there was no sign of miscarriage.  What they couldn't determine was the cause of the bleeding.  My OB was on call and ordered 24 hours of bed rest which I gladly accepted.  

Thank God that I didn't lose a baby....or worse, both of them.  While I was sitting in our room in the ER I just made a promise to God that I would accept whatever He had in store for me and these babies.  If He was going to take away one or both, I would just have to trust that it was for a good reason and I would try again.  But I also prayed that since He had given us these two miracles, that He would allow us to keep them and that they would grow into healthy happy full-term babies!

My 24 hours chained to the couch is over and I'm still a little wary.  OK, paranoid actually.  I have realized that this pregnancy will be vastly different than my first and is truly high risk.  There are so many more issues carrying two babies, and I have to be cautious in everything that I do, eat and drink for their sake.  

 I don't know what the end result will be, but all I can do is believe that everything will be OK.  

"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."  Matthew 21:22 

**Update:  Although I haven't had an ultrasound since the trip to the ER, I haven't had any more bleeding.  My doctor seems to think I had a SCH or Sub Chorionic Hematoma, a small blood clot that is common in IVF and/or twin pregnancies.  Apparently, it can get caught behind the uterus and when it bursts, you will have a gush of blood.  So that was good news, and a relief.  My next appt is 3 weeks away with the high risk doctor and hopefully we will get a clearer picture of the babies and their health.